La Fourchette, Saint Heliers

La Fourchette

8c Turua St,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $4.50

La Fourchette is always super busy when I drive by, so the strategy is to come over the holidays when all of the rich people are gone for the summer. I can park very easily right out the front. It’s French themed, and that is themed very strongly with a bunch of pastries, and more fancy looking than your average NZ bakery. What a shame I’m only here for coffee…

Coffee: It’s OK, not bad coffee but it is not super strong tasting. It’s a coffee that appeals to the older residents of the area. (4/5)

Milk:  The milk is competent but not outstanding. (4/5)

Presentation: Altezano Brothers coffee cup, blue. I’ve been seeing a few of these around and this must be where they come from. No problems. (3/3)

Verdict: It’s quickly made, and not too bad. Much like I said yesterday, it would be a good accompaniment to a meal but on it’s own, still needs more work.

Overall rating: 11/13. Not too bad at all. Good for St Heliers, I guess.

Kahve, Saint Heliers

Kahve

1 St Heliers Bay Road,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $5

The open kitchen - neat to look at!

This place has pride of place on the corner of Tamaki Drive and St Heliers Bay Road. It’s been there for a while now, and my dad especially seems poisoned against its clientele – professional water drinkers he calls them. According to their website, Kahve is the Turkish word for ‘meeting place’. As I come in, it’s very quiet and a man is sitting having tea, who I assume is the owner, as he gets up and greets me. He makes the coffee for me, but either it’s very early in the day or they don’t like people dropping in for a takeaway coffee.

Coffee: It’s not too bad. It’s not rocking my world, but it certainly holds up over the time to drink it. (4/5)

Milk:  This thing is the let down. It’s kind of – nothing. There’s milk in the cup but no cream taste to speak of. (3/5)

Presentation: Solid cup but no branding whatsoever. It confirms my suspicion that they don’t do a lot of coffee takeaway. (3/3)

Verdict: The restaurant looks great – the open kitchen especially in unusual for NZ places and is intriguing. The coffee isn’t too bad, about the par for St Heliers I think.

Overall rating: 10/13. On par for St Heliers. Probably a really nice accompaniment for a dessert, but as an early morning pick-me-up, I think there’s better out there.

Cypress Cafe, Saint Heliers

Cypress Cafe

10 St Heliers Bay Road,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $4.50

This café is right next door to the awful coffee I last had. Let’s hope it is WAY better!

Coffee: It tastes a little funny at the start, and turns out because it is burnt. It’s much better than drinking water though. (3.5/5)

Milk:  It’s milk, but not frothed or foamed the way I’d like it to be.  (3.5/5)

Presentation: The cup, from Roma coffee roasters, is unique with its own branding. It’s solid and doesn’t leak. (3/3)

Verdict: If you have a choice between this place and the Breadwinner, torch the Breadwinner and come in here. The coffee isn’t too bad.

Overall rating: 10/13. Not too bad actually. I still expect better from St Heliers, but compared to the awful one I had previously, it’s like heaven.

Breadwinner Bakery, Saint Heliers

Breadwinner Bakery

8 St Heliers Bay Road,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $4.50

This bakery has been around in St Heliers for years. The food looks enticing but lets see if the coffee matches.

Coffee: What coffee? (0/5)

Milk:  It’s milk, I’ll tell you that, but that’s about the only thing in the cup.  (1/5)

Presentation: Vittoria cup, not leaking. It has a brown lid, which for some reason I find disconcerting. I’m too used to white ones I guess. (3/3)

The shop window is about the only thing palatable about this review.

Verdict: The Breadwinner is a coffee loser. It was a tepid, bland coffee that had to be thrown out to make way for a stronger one.

Overall rating: 4/13. Don’t ever buy this coffee for you, people you like or even your enemies. They deserve better.

St Heliers Bay Cafe and Bistro

Saint Heliers Bay Café and Bistro

387 Tamaki Drive,
St Heliers, Auckland.

Large flat white: $4.50

Picture taken from http://stheliersbaycafe.co.nz/

This place has a massive reputation for being an ‘it’ spot, it doesn’t take reservations, and is very popular. When I go in, I can see why. The lady behind the counter gives the man in front of me the finer points of a latte vs a flat white. My order is taken promptly and then I’m greeted by no less than 3 people, directed to a long bar with newspapers, and given a glass of water which I do not drink. The service here is outstanding already, before I take a sip.

Coffee: The coffee slips after the first sip, like so many, but has enough legs to hold on for the majority of the cup. I wonder if this is a quirk of Allpress beans? (4/5)

Milk:  I thought it might be too creamy at first, but after some time, it settled to be a great foil to the coffee.  (5/5)

Presentation: Another day, another Allpress cup. So uninspiring, but ultimately, I care more about what’s in the cup (3/3).

Verdict: The place has a lot of hype and for good reason. Great service + good product = popular. Not a 13 yet for the coffee but it’s certainly not bad at all.

Overall rating: 12/13. Great service, good coffee.

Village Co-Op, Saint Heliers

Village Co-op

Maheke St, Saint Heliers,

Auckland 1071

Large flat white: $4.50

This is a place that sells coffee, ice cream (in large amounts) and a few loaves of bread. Very European. This place is described as a ‘family style hole in the wall’ shop, whatever that means. I suspect it’s a marketing gimmick, much like how people crap on about independent films being so much better than the mainstream. Anyway, how’s the coffee here?

Coffee: The first sip had promise, but then was quickly overtaken by… (2.5/5)

Milk: …the very creamy milk which hit me from the moment I put my lips to the cup. It reminded me very much of the horrible Columbus coffee I had in Pakuranga for my very first review.  (1/5).

Presentation: The cup is solid and with a purple colour, is visually appealing. Something about the coffee had to be appealing I guess. (3/3).

Verdict: Here’s a tip for cafes out there – if I buy a coffee, I want to taste coffee, not cream or milk. I am not a child and I do not order fluffies. The super creamy coffees always ruin it for me.

Overall rating: 6.5/13. The village should co-operate to make better coffee.

Columbus Ellerslie

Columbus Ellerslie

139 Main Hwy, Ellerslie,

Auckland

Large Flat White: $4.80

The well-known franchise gets another try this time in Ellerslie. A lot was wrong with this place before I even got the coffee. None of the staff were wearing the Columbus uniform – a bit odd. They did have a nice wall you can lean on while waiting for coffee, which got a lot of use, as I was waiting an extraordinary long period of time for a coffee that should only be about 3 minutes or so. It is good to be out of the way though, one of the things I hate when getting coffee is waiting and hanging round like a spare part with nowhere good to sit or stand.

Coffee: First sip is good but quickly loses its punch thereafter. (4/5)

Milk: Much like the coffee, it loses potency after a while, which is strange as milk is usually quite consistent. (3.5/5)

Presentation: The same stable yellow Columbus cup that you always get. (3/3)

Verdict: On par with other Colmbuses/Comlumbi, but not quite where I want to be on a Saturday morning. Also, waiting close to 10 minutes for a takeaway coffee was intolerable. The man who came in after me actually complained, and I must admit, I wasn’t far off asking for a refund and going back to Melba.

Overall rating: 11/13. Exactly what you expect from Columbus - for better or for worse. Service: 1/10. Slow and pathetic.