The Parlour, Howick

The Parlour

137 Picton Street

Howick

Auckland

Large Flat White: $4.50

I’m back going to the physio for my ankle, and often use the visit as an excuse for a good coffee on main street Howick. I was all set to go to the Apothecary but got lazy and stopped in here instead. I thin it’s relatively new – when I googled the address, ‘Destiny Café’ comes up.

LOOKS retro, but actually not too bad.

Coffee: Quite good. In fact, when I took my first sip, I thought it might be a perfect 5, but it didn’t travel as well. If you were rating on the first sip it would be outstanding, but it fades fast. (4/5)

Milk:  Awesome. Solid, foamy, velvety. Good milk. (5/5)

Presentation: This is a very interesting cup – a unique symbol and feels like quite a big cup. The lid has that weird spout thing on it, which is not a bad thing, but I find it a bit odd. The lid was quite tricky to get off, again, not a big deal but annoying when coffee reviewers try to look inside. (3/3)

Verdict: I nearly judged a book by its cover. I thought the place looked like it was going to give a very ordinary coffee but I was very pleasantly surprised. I was similarly surprised that the coffee was so good, but it did go downhill fast. You’d want to drink it quickly, if you can.

Overall rating: 12/13 A good coffee at a good price. Worth giving a try again.

Texture Cafe, Flat Bush

Texture Café

1 Arranmore Drive

Flat Bush

Auckland

Large Flat White: $5.50 (jeepers creepers)

Texture Cafe - by night, one would assume.

This place has had a flood of recommendations from locals on social media so I had to go and try it. It is situated near the new Ormiston Senior College, and is near a dairy and opposite a childcare centre, along with all the new subdivision houses. It should have a ticket to print money.

Coffee: Reasonably good, but only reasonably. It’s not the strongest tasting cup going. (4/5)

Milk:  Awesome. Solid, foamy, velvety. Good milk. (5/5)

Presentation: Black cup and black lid – very fashionable no doubt, but I’m so used to white lids that it seems a little odd. Nothing structurally wrong though. (3/3)

Verdict: A good cup, and not bad café to have in your neighbourhood. But at $5.50 for a large and $4.50 for a small/regular, it’s overpriced for what it is. I guess when you’re the only player in your area then that’s what you can do.

Overall rating: 12/13 A good, but expensive coffee.

Cigana St Heliers

Cigana St Heliers

5 Maskell St, St Heliers,

Auckland

Large Flat White: $4.80

The 'famous' red Cigana cup

I’ve done Cigana before (their St Johns outlet) and this one in St Heliers provides a more bricks and mortar presence. It’s a shame this wasn’t here when I was a younger man, as it would have been right at the top of my street.

Coffee: It’s a strong flavour – I almost think a 5, but it just falls back. Made me think though. If only I gave quarter marks. (4.5/5)

Milk:  Awesome. Solid, foamy, velvety. Good milk. (5/5)

Presentation: The red Cigana branded cup is very distinctive. You aren’t going to confuse this with anything around the place. (3/3)

Verdict: A really good cup, better than its cousin in St Johns. Nearly perfect, I’d definitely go here if I was in the neighbourhood.

Overall rating: 12.5/13. Very, very very good. It’s nice to find a place that lives up to the hype every now and then!

La Vista, Saint Heliers

La Vista Café and Restaurant

417 Tamaki Drive

Saint Heliers

Auckland

Large Flat White: $5

This place, I remember a while back, used to do very average food and I was underwhelmed. It seems to have had a change of owner and style (to Spanish now) and is a more inviting place. As I place my order, I notice some awards for coffee on the wall (for organic coffee among other things) so my expectations are now sky high.

Coffee: Quite good. The flavour is holding up nicely. It’ not at a 5 but it’s very close. (4.5/5)

View from the street

Milk:  It looks really nice as I open the lid and have a small peek. It’s a solid foam and I’m sure quite velvety. (4/5)

Presentation: Forget what I said yesterday, this is the blue cup I see everywhere in St Heliers. Solid blue “Santos Coffee with Soul”. (3/3)

Verdict: I see these cups all around the place in St Heliers and I can see why. It’s really, really good. Not perfect but I’d drink this most days I could.

Overall rating: 12.5/13. Very, very very good. No perfect but you could drink a lot worse in a lot of places.

La Fourchette, Saint Heliers

La Fourchette

8c Turua St,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $4.50

La Fourchette is always super busy when I drive by, so the strategy is to come over the holidays when all of the rich people are gone for the summer. I can park very easily right out the front. It’s French themed, and that is themed very strongly with a bunch of pastries, and more fancy looking than your average NZ bakery. What a shame I’m only here for coffee…

Coffee: It’s OK, not bad coffee but it is not super strong tasting. It’s a coffee that appeals to the older residents of the area. (4/5)

Milk:  The milk is competent but not outstanding. (4/5)

Presentation: Altezano Brothers coffee cup, blue. I’ve been seeing a few of these around and this must be where they come from. No problems. (3/3)

Verdict: It’s quickly made, and not too bad. Much like I said yesterday, it would be a good accompaniment to a meal but on it’s own, still needs more work.

Overall rating: 11/13. Not too bad at all. Good for St Heliers, I guess.

Kahve, Saint Heliers

Kahve

1 St Heliers Bay Road,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $5

The open kitchen - neat to look at!

This place has pride of place on the corner of Tamaki Drive and St Heliers Bay Road. It’s been there for a while now, and my dad especially seems poisoned against its clientele – professional water drinkers he calls them. According to their website, Kahve is the Turkish word for ‘meeting place’. As I come in, it’s very quiet and a man is sitting having tea, who I assume is the owner, as he gets up and greets me. He makes the coffee for me, but either it’s very early in the day or they don’t like people dropping in for a takeaway coffee.

Coffee: It’s not too bad. It’s not rocking my world, but it certainly holds up over the time to drink it. (4/5)

Milk:  This thing is the let down. It’s kind of – nothing. There’s milk in the cup but no cream taste to speak of. (3/5)

Presentation: Solid cup but no branding whatsoever. It confirms my suspicion that they don’t do a lot of coffee takeaway. (3/3)

Verdict: The restaurant looks great – the open kitchen especially in unusual for NZ places and is intriguing. The coffee isn’t too bad, about the par for St Heliers I think.

Overall rating: 10/13. On par for St Heliers. Probably a really nice accompaniment for a dessert, but as an early morning pick-me-up, I think there’s better out there.

Cypress Cafe, Saint Heliers

Cypress Cafe

10 St Heliers Bay Road,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $4.50

This café is right next door to the awful coffee I last had. Let’s hope it is WAY better!

Coffee: It tastes a little funny at the start, and turns out because it is burnt. It’s much better than drinking water though. (3.5/5)

Milk:  It’s milk, but not frothed or foamed the way I’d like it to be.  (3.5/5)

Presentation: The cup, from Roma coffee roasters, is unique with its own branding. It’s solid and doesn’t leak. (3/3)

Verdict: If you have a choice between this place and the Breadwinner, torch the Breadwinner and come in here. The coffee isn’t too bad.

Overall rating: 10/13. Not too bad actually. I still expect better from St Heliers, but compared to the awful one I had previously, it’s like heaven.

Breadwinner Bakery, Saint Heliers

Breadwinner Bakery

8 St Heliers Bay Road,

Saint Heliers

New Zealand

Large flat white: $4.50

This bakery has been around in St Heliers for years. The food looks enticing but lets see if the coffee matches.

Coffee: What coffee? (0/5)

Milk:  It’s milk, I’ll tell you that, but that’s about the only thing in the cup.  (1/5)

Presentation: Vittoria cup, not leaking. It has a brown lid, which for some reason I find disconcerting. I’m too used to white ones I guess. (3/3)

The shop window is about the only thing palatable about this review.

Verdict: The Breadwinner is a coffee loser. It was a tepid, bland coffee that had to be thrown out to make way for a stronger one.

Overall rating: 4/13. Don’t ever buy this coffee for you, people you like or even your enemies. They deserve better.

St Heliers Bay Cafe and Bistro

Saint Heliers Bay Café and Bistro

387 Tamaki Drive,
St Heliers, Auckland.

Large flat white: $4.50

Picture taken from http://stheliersbaycafe.co.nz/

This place has a massive reputation for being an ‘it’ spot, it doesn’t take reservations, and is very popular. When I go in, I can see why. The lady behind the counter gives the man in front of me the finer points of a latte vs a flat white. My order is taken promptly and then I’m greeted by no less than 3 people, directed to a long bar with newspapers, and given a glass of water which I do not drink. The service here is outstanding already, before I take a sip.

Coffee: The coffee slips after the first sip, like so many, but has enough legs to hold on for the majority of the cup. I wonder if this is a quirk of Allpress beans? (4/5)

Milk:  I thought it might be too creamy at first, but after some time, it settled to be a great foil to the coffee.  (5/5)

Presentation: Another day, another Allpress cup. So uninspiring, but ultimately, I care more about what’s in the cup (3/3).

Verdict: The place has a lot of hype and for good reason. Great service + good product = popular. Not a 13 yet for the coffee but it’s certainly not bad at all.

Overall rating: 12/13. Great service, good coffee.

Village Co-Op, Saint Heliers

Village Co-op

Maheke St, Saint Heliers,

Auckland 1071

Large flat white: $4.50

This is a place that sells coffee, ice cream (in large amounts) and a few loaves of bread. Very European. This place is described as a ‘family style hole in the wall’ shop, whatever that means. I suspect it’s a marketing gimmick, much like how people crap on about independent films being so much better than the mainstream. Anyway, how’s the coffee here?

Coffee: The first sip had promise, but then was quickly overtaken by… (2.5/5)

Milk: …the very creamy milk which hit me from the moment I put my lips to the cup. It reminded me very much of the horrible Columbus coffee I had in Pakuranga for my very first review.  (1/5).

Presentation: The cup is solid and with a purple colour, is visually appealing. Something about the coffee had to be appealing I guess. (3/3).

Verdict: Here’s a tip for cafes out there – if I buy a coffee, I want to taste coffee, not cream or milk. I am not a child and I do not order fluffies. The super creamy coffees always ruin it for me.

Overall rating: 6.5/13. The village should co-operate to make better coffee.

Columbus Ellerslie

Columbus Ellerslie

139 Main Hwy, Ellerslie,

Auckland

Large Flat White: $4.80

The well-known franchise gets another try this time in Ellerslie. A lot was wrong with this place before I even got the coffee. None of the staff were wearing the Columbus uniform – a bit odd. They did have a nice wall you can lean on while waiting for coffee, which got a lot of use, as I was waiting an extraordinary long period of time for a coffee that should only be about 3 minutes or so. It is good to be out of the way though, one of the things I hate when getting coffee is waiting and hanging round like a spare part with nowhere good to sit or stand.

Coffee: First sip is good but quickly loses its punch thereafter. (4/5)

Milk: Much like the coffee, it loses potency after a while, which is strange as milk is usually quite consistent. (3.5/5)

Presentation: The same stable yellow Columbus cup that you always get. (3/3)

Verdict: On par with other Colmbuses/Comlumbi, but not quite where I want to be on a Saturday morning. Also, waiting close to 10 minutes for a takeaway coffee was intolerable. The man who came in after me actually complained, and I must admit, I wasn’t far off asking for a refund and going back to Melba.

Overall rating: 11/13. Exactly what you expect from Columbus - for better or for worse. Service: 1/10. Slow and pathetic.

Cafe Melba, Ellerslie

Café Melba

135 Main Highway,

Ellerslie 1051

Auckland

Medium Flat White: $4.50

This café was recommended to me by a Facebook friend, and is incidentally the site of where I sold my first house by auction (nervous bloody night, I tell you). I walk in at 10:30 on a Thursday before Christmas and the place is packed with suits on their phones and casuals… on their phones.

Coffee: Much like the Café on Kohi yesterday, the coffee is almost perfect but it doesn’t have the legs to hang on for the long term.  (4.5/5)

Milk: This one fooled me – I took off the lid and saw some bubbles, but after a few sips, the velvety stuff came through. Pleasant surprise. (5/5)

Presentation: An interesting cup. The lid is of a different design and doesn’t fit into the mouth as pleasantly and easily as the vast majority. It was flatter than normal? But not as comfortable. (2.5/3)

Verdict: A nice coffee and if I were passing through Ellerslie, would come in again. But I wouldn’t drive across town for it.

Overall rating: 12/13. It lacks perfection but it’s damn close.

Cafe on Kohi, Kohimarama

Café on Kohi

2/237 Kohimarama Road

Auckland 1071

Large Flat White: $5

This café has a massive reputation among the nouveau riche for having good service and being very popular that they don’t take reservations. It certainly has a lot of people in it most times, so I go in during an awful Auckland summer’s day. The service is evident when I walk in as I’m offered a table and even a glass of water while I wait for my takeaway coffee to be made

Coffee: This is really good. It starts off with a slight kick that then fades. It’s a shame as it’s not a bad coffee at all, but just lacks the knock out only slightly. (4.5/5)

Milk: It looks a bit too stuff – foamy rather than velvety. It doesn’t take away from the coffee flavour however. (4.5/5)

Presentation: Another day, another Allpress cup. I expected a little more. (3/3)

Verdict: The service well and truly lived up to its reputation and it is a nice spot, but a bit sandblown today. A good coffee but still not perfect.

Overall rating: 12/13. A really good coffee, but it lacks the refinement needed for a 13. Definitely worth a drink.